Crazy...

Well once again it's been FOREVER since I wrote in this thing. I suppose since nobody really reads it then it's not like anyone has been hanging on the edge of their seat for the past two months though. :) I really do need to get better at writing in here though. It helps me sort out stuff when I have stuff that needs to be sorted. Wow, where to begin. So much has happened to me since the last time I wrote in here I don't even know where to start.

Well for starters I guess I'll state the obvious. I'm finished with the first block of the Academy and it's been nice to actually have some time to spend with Sheena and the kids. Although, I think Sheena is getting sick of me being around so much. I can understand it though with us working together and all, it's nice to get a break every now and again. I do love spending time with her though. :) It's crazy how much I love that woman. I never thought in my wildest dreams that the kind of love I have for her even exhisted let alone me ever finding it. I know I've done some stupid things in the past and I didn't think I really deserved it, but I honestly thank God everyday that I found her and that she was a strong enough woman to put up with some of my stupid ass stuff because I know in my heart that she's "The One" for me. I never really believed in fate before, but after meeting her and everything that has gone on in our relationship up to this point I don't know how I couldn't believe in it. She's perfect for me and I hope that I'm perfect for her, God knows I try. I know I have my faults but doesn't everyone? I feel like I have learned from my mistakes though and so I don't feel as though they're necessarily bad because I learned a lesson from them. I definately wish that I could be where I am now without having to go through what I did or do what I did, but like they say what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. :) I think that once I get back to going to school maybe things won't be quite so weird between Sheena and I. And by weird I don't mean bad, just that it's nice when I come home or whatever and she's really excited to see me because she misses me. I really want that back and can't wait for it to be like that again. I know that if we didn't both have really good jobs here together then I'd leave and find a new one so that we weren't spending SO much time together, but we can't afford it. I know that soon I will be working for a department and then things will get back to "normal" for married life. You know the whole sitting down at dinner and talking about your days type normal. I really want her to know that she means the world to me and I would do absolutely anything for her, all she would have to do is ask. I think that I've proved that to her on many occasions and I hope that it's something she already knows.

Sheena has decided to start hanging out with her friends a little bit. Which I think is a good thing. I miss being around her away from work, but I totally agree with her about needing to go have some time without me being around. :) I am a little apprehensive, just for the sole reason that my ex-wife did this type of thing too. She started going to the bars for "ladies nights" and things and it ended up going way out of control. She actually ended up cheating on me several times while doing this. Now I KNOW Sheena isn't the same type of person that my ex was, but it's a little scary for me to have the same type thing happening and just hoping that I don't get burned again. I trust Sheena 100% and I know that she would never do anything that she knows would hurt me or that she couldn't come home and talk about with me at dinner or something. I know I live my life that way. If I ever had a situation come up that I wouldn't talk to her about around the dinner table then there is no way I would even be tempted to do it. I love her FAR too much to do anything stupid like that, no matter how "fun" or "crazy" it seemed at the moment and I really feel like she's in the same boat that I am on that one. I know that guys will probably hit on her, and I can't stop that nor would I try, it's flattering. But I also trust her to squash any sort of advances to her right from the get go and not "lead anyone on" or whatever. I know she loves me and I am pretty sure she respects me ;) so I would hope that she would have no interest in that sort of thing. I'm all for going out and having some fun and letting loose occasionally. Yay for fun! I am just glad that at the end of the night, she's coming home to me. :) So that's my rant on that whole thing. I think it's a good thing and I know it will only make our relationship stronger. I just hope that she doesn't get sick of me and still thinks I'm fun enough to hang out with too. :)

As far as the Academy goes, I'm enrolled in the March class. So I start the 3rd or 4th of March and I'm pretty nervous for it. I know that it will be more fun than the first block but I'm just stressing the physical part of it. I know I probably shouldn't but it's hard not to when it completely depends on if you pass the P.T. test in order to graduate. I'm sure I'll be fine though, I'm trying not to worry about it. I'm starting to go to the gym everyday now instead of the random days like it's been lately. I am taking Sheena with me, she's trying to lose a few pounds which I don't think she needs, but I'm supporting her 100% with it and will do all I can to help her out. The holidays were kind of rude to me. I didn't go to the gym as much as I should have been. But I've got two and a half months before I start the next block and I have until July before I need to be there. I'm almost there already so it shouldn't be too bad.

Well that's about all I can think of, so I guess I'm gonna go. :) Be back sometime....hopefully sooner than two months this time.